MOTHER TERESA WOULD JUST MAKE THE DAMN COFFEE

At work this morning I was performing my morning ritual of “making the coffee” as I do every day because…that’ my job. This ritual generally includes a plastic secretary smile that belies the chronic and unceasing complaining that is going on in my head every day at this time about my low status in the corporate universe along one or more of the following lines:

• Glad I spent all that money which I’m still paying back on a master’s degree.
  
• Sob's can’t make a pot of coffee?
  
• Why does God/universe hate me?
  
• Karma? 
  
• Job titles: plumber, maid, hostess and office manager and that's just at work– don’t ask.
  
• Various and sundry other grievances regarding my current work life.

But while I was driving to work I was thinking about peace, love and the brotherhood of man.  No really.

I’ve been reading this book by Pema Chodron called “Taking the Leap” in which she discusses various eastern and Buddhist practices toward becoming a better person. One of the practices is called Tonglen, which serves to help one reduce selfish attachment and promote the development and expansion of loving kindness toward all beings.

For example, when you look at say, a homeless or mentally ill person on the street, or anyone whose gaze you may evade in order to escape the reaction or feeling they evoke in you; with Tonglen, you would instead breathe in and confront that feeling or emotion and breathe out goodwill and kindness and the wish for comfort in that person's life.  You are confronting the feeling that makes you uncomfortable.  That's my very simple version of Tonglen - it's really way much more than that, but it's first dealing with your own reaction to discomfort, then projecting goodness on to the individual you would otherwise have avoided.

Today when I was contemplating Tonglen, I thought it must be much like the way Mother Teresa thought. I think she put herself in the shoes of the people she served – actually becoming one of them so she could minister and serve them with true compassion.

This morning while I was performing my internal bitching session in concert with coffee-making it occurred to me - Ugh! Mother Teresa would just make the damn coffee!

So, if I can't overlook something so silly as a bit of ingrained sexism in the office how will I ever truly be the kind of person I want to be - kind, compassionate and loving.  It's really all about just getting over yourself.

Well, anyway, I never said I was Mother Teresa.  I made the coffee but I've got to keep working on that attitude.