"Two things are infinite; The universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."
~Albert Einstein
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
~Frank Zappa
I started
putting together this piece about stupidity, mostly my own, but when I began to
research stupidity, the topic expanded somewhat, mostly because there is a sizeable
amount of information and insights on human stupidity out there. Seriously folks, there has been a lot of
thought and research on this subject; some serious, some tongue in cheek and
much of it a wee bit angry.
In any
event, there are all kinds of stupidity out there. Many people err by lumping stupid behavior
all together under the category, “Stupid.”
Wrong! Not all stupid is created equal.
In my
research, I have found topics like:
The Six Types of Stupidity
10 Varieties of Stupid
4 Types of Person: A Guide to Stupidity
The Art of Stupidity (now it’s an art)
Why Are People So Fucking Stupid
The Power of Stupidity
Are You Smart Enough to Know You’re
Stupid?
And these
are just to name a few. I didn’t go too
deep into any one of them…except maybe, “Why Are People So Fucking Stupid,” because
that is often my mantra. Anyway, most of
the articles broke stupidity down into categories. Some were very funny and some were
angry. And that’s the thing about it.
Perceived stupidity causes a reaction.
Stupidity as defined by Wikipedia:
A lack of intelligence, understanding, reason, wit or sense. It may be innate, assumed or reactive – "being ‘stupid with grief’ as a defense against psychological trauma," A state marked with "grief and despair…making even simple daily tasks a hardship."
Stupidity as defined by Merriam Webster:
Given to unintelligent decisions or acts: acting in an unintelligent or careless manner. (Pay attention, because this is upper echelon stupid. Here, the person gets credit for not really being stupid....just acting stupid). Lacking intelligence or reason.
Given to unintelligent decisions or acts: acting in an unintelligent or careless manner. (Pay attention, because this is upper echelon stupid. Here, the person gets credit for not really being stupid....just acting stupid). Lacking intelligence or reason.
Ok, let's analyze: Lacking intelligence or reason: Way too vague but can apply easily to certain sets of individuals, I think. For example; 2 to 5 year olds. Well, except for the whole "state marked with grief and despair," unless of course, said 2 to 5 year old is being forced to go to bed, eat broccoli, wear boots in the snow or say hi to Grandma. So yes, sometimes , we are stupid because we are young. Or are we? This is a devious group my friends. They will do anything to get their way and may go as far as employing faux stupidity. Be wary.
There is also teenage stupidity which often falls under the "lacking intelligence or reason" category as well. It is typified by behavior that teeters between grown up, and small child complete with wild mood swings alternating with responsible and irresponsible conduct. It is a tough time for both child and parent. We've all been there, some more than others.
Then there are those who choose stupidity because, maybe it feels good for the moment. I'd venture to say that a large percentage of my stupid behavior from teen years on up are because I chose stupid over lucid and mature behavior in my life. Often, what feels good at the moment, only serves to humiliate you later - after which you swear you will never do _________________again. And hopefully, you don't, but sometimes......okay, moving on.
There are actually people who play dumb because it either gets them out of something they don't want to do, or they harvest attention from it. I don't get that...I think it's the epitome of stupid to act stupid for attention. C'mon, you can also get attention by pretending to be smart, ahem...
People are sometimes stupid in love and behave in ways their rational mind would never permit if not under the influence of the drug called "love." They can become controlling, devious, whiny and jealous.
Anyway, the categories go on and on. And I think I know what I'm talking about here. I'm experienced. I've been through most of the types of stupidity already mentioned as well as many that are not during various periods of my life. The occasions where stupidity has taken root are scattered throughout. Not being a total sadist, I'll keep those most obtuse behaviors to myself. The following is the abridged version of my personal cycle of stupid, or "stupid light" as I like to think of it. Note the subtle change from amusing childish stupidity, to the more grown up stuff that is not nearly as fun.
Ages 2 - 7
Dug a hold under the fence with a soup spoon to take one year old Marcia, whom my mother was babysitting, across busy Charlevoix to get ice cream at Cunningham's (in my defense, I was 2 1/2 years old and don't even remember the incident). Actually, this probably qualifies as my mother's stupid behavior too...Totally underestimating a toddler with a spoon.
Hid in a store at age 5 until the police were called because I wanted to "fool my mom." She apparently had laughed the first time I did it (when I was 3) and told the story over and over. I was confident she'd enjoy it again. I was mistaken.
Heated up my crayons in a pan on the stove to make a candle while I was home from school "sick" one day. My mom was outside hanging clothes on the line. While they were heating, I went into the living room to watch TV and forgot completely about the crayons until they became a sizzling, spattering, shooting mass of hot wax that I could not get near to shut off the stove. I had to scream for mom. Then mom screamed for me....Wasn't pretty. The kitchen had to be scraped and painted and the curtains were ruined.
Believed that Fantastic spray cleaner would clean red lipstick off of freshly painted white flat paint in our dining room. The commercial said so! I wrote YOGI BEAR in newly learned cursive on our dining room walls. Lesson learned: Don't beleive everything you hear on TV. Mom went nuts.
Ages 12 - 18
Started tippling my mother's vodka at age 12 (I was home alone alot). She would mark the label on the bottle with her fingernail to make sure my dad wasn't touching it (he was an alcoholic in recovery). I would pour some and mix it with orange juice, just like mom. Then I'd add water up to the fingernail mark and pop the bottle back into the freezer. I did this over and over until one fine day, mom pulled the bottle out of the freezer and it was half frozen. Dad caught hell and I felt terrible, albeit, not terrible enough to help dad out with the truth. Not nice...and stupid.
Hitchhiked frequently. Incredibly stupid.
Smoked cigarettes and pot. Stupid and stupid.
Experimented liberally with illegal substances. Dumb and stupid.
Cut my hair in a Rod Stewart shag - I have curly hair. Beyond stupid.
Ages 18 - 22
Got kicked out of the house at the age of 18 and lived in an apaprtment above a Coney Island with friends and 5000 cockroaches in the worst area of the city. I never went home even though mom asked me to move back. I was "free." Almost too stupid to live. Surprisingly, I did.
Quit high school 6 weeks before graduation (immediately after I got kicked out). Dumb, dumber and stupid.
Bought my first car for $300 and was totally overcharged. It barely ran. Thank you Mike Dionne. Stupid.
Drove drunk times too numerous to mention (I should get some points - it was the 70's). Selfish, and stupid.
Kicked a hole in the door of the Pizzeria that I worked at. I was a little angry. Got fired soon after. Stupid and angry... and stupid.
Stabbed my friend Clyde in the arm with a fork - unintentionally. His arm was in the way when I threw the fork. No, I do not remember why I threw the fork. Stupid and dangerous, and stupid.
Got married at age 20 after knowing him for 6 months. STUPID!
Had first baby 6 months later (I wouldn't trade her for anything - best stupid thing I ever did).
Ages 22 - 35
Believed the bible was meant to be taken literally...all of it for 10 years. Misinformed / stupid.
Stopped thinking for myself. Don't ever do this one. The height of stupidity.
Believed in the "name it and claim it" prosperity doctrine (combined with the stopped thinking for myself stupidity). Almost too stupid to believe.
Believed that God was a being so shallow that he promoted the "name it and claim it" doctrine. Asinine.
Made my kids spend almost every day of their childhood at church (their school was at the church). Stupid.
Ages 35 - present
Obtained 2 degrees in fields that I was not really interested in because of money. Then, I could not get a job in either field because of lack of experience and now owe $28,000 in student loans that I don't make enough money to pay. Sigh...
Spending a considerable amount of time researching stupidity for a blog post. Maybe stupid? Maybe informative? Ok...stupid.
There's much more I could say but I think I'll stop here. I think that I've slowed down on impulsive and stupid behavior considerably as I've aged. Thank goodness for that. We all have our moments - some much worse and with more drastic outcomes than others. It is said, they walk among us. It is true. It is also true that we walk among them, or something like that.
I sometimes wonder how I survived all of that stupidity. Dumb luck, divine intervention or otherwise. I'm glad I did.
Stupid is as stupid does.
